I Want My Old Happy Self Back! God Please Restore Me
Question : My son committed suicide in 2009. I can't seem to get over it and move on. I suffer from extreme depression and PTSD which causes me to be dysfunctional at least 50% of the time. I want my old happy self back! God PLEASE restore me so I can serve you with all of me for the rest of my days! I love you JESUS and will serve you no matter what, whether you heal me or not! You are my GOD, JESUS!!!!
Answer : Greetings to you in Jesus wonderful name!
I understand PTSD is Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which is an anxiety disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as sexual assault, warfare, traffic collisions, terrorism or other threats on a person's life. Symptoms include disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and hyper arousal, continue for more than a month after the occurrence of a traumatic event and in some cases in to years after that.
I understand what you are going through. We have been going through the life of Job for over a month now, if someone must have PTSD for the rest of his life, he must have been the number one in the list. Because of the first great trial that God allowed in his life, in a single day he lost all his property, he lost all his servants and above all he lost all his children [i.e. 7 sons and 3 daughters (Job 1:2)], but after hearing all those sad and horrible news of what had happened to him, he realized that without God's permission it could not happen to him, so Job arose, tore his robes and showed his sadness that nothing else is left in his life and then shaved his head to express the shame he felt in his soul, but he did not stop there but acknowledged God's hand over all this to fall down to the ground and worship Him (Job 1:13-20). God had faith in job that He will overcome the trials that God has allowed because he was a devoted worshiper of God. When Adam and Eve were attacked by Satan, they ran away from God because they did not experience the power of worship at that point of time (Gen 3:1-10). Opposite to this, when Job was attacked by Satan, he ran to the presence of God and worshiped him. He did not misrepresent God by speaking anything worthless against God but instead reaffirmed that God had the rights to test him by taking things away from him because He is the Creator who provided everything (Job 1:21). As a worshiper the Holy Spirit spoke the right words through Job's mouth and kept him quiet, therefore Job proved God and Satan's evil sadistic heart was brought out to light as Job did not sin with his mouth and charge God with wrong (Job 1:22; 2:3). Satan sent four servant messengers to bring fear in to the heart of Job, but because Job was a worshiper he was able to overcome the fear by faith. Overcome sadness and mourning by the whispers of comfort from God working within him. Once we come to accept God's sovereign right to give anything anytime and take anything anytime away from us, we are on the way to supernatural healing from God. Even Jesus told Satan that we should not test God but only trust Him as his children, but he has the rights to test us and we can respond to it only in worship because He is the one who provides (Matt 4:7, 10, 4).
We should understand that Job was God's best man, but still Satan had legal space within him to attack him because of the life of self-righteousness and pride that was present in his life (Job 1:8; 2:3; 9:21; 10:3, 7; 12:4; 27:6; 31:1-40). Like that we might have been God's best friend, but as the sons and daughters of our sinful forefather Adam, Satan might have had something in us for God to allow such great trials to purify our lives and cleanse us to become blessed than before.
Again in Job's second trial, Satan could have killed his wife before itself along with Job's sons as she was in his hand only (Job 1:12), but Satan understood that his wife being the closest thing to Job could be used as the effective instrument against him. When God again gave power to Satan over Job's body except the power to take out his life, he made job's body to become full of painful boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head so that he had to take a pot shred [i.e. a broken piece of an earthenware (Job 2:8; 41:30; Psalms 22:15; Prov 26:23; Isaiah 45:9)] to scratch himself in a soothing way and relieve himself of his pain and suffering. This time Satan himself filled Job's wife and tempted him again to misrepresent God by saying "Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!", but Job overcame her by saying the same thing he first said but in a different way reaffirming that God is good, and argued for God by saying that the person who gives good has the right to allow bad adversity too, we who accept God in good time should also accept Him in bad and sad times too because He is worthy of all our worship as the Creator of us all. In other words God is sovereign over all, and because of that He has the right to do what He wants, where He wants and when He wants, and no one has the right to ask Him why you did it or not do it. Because Job's heart was connected to heaven by faith, he was able to overcome the temptation of the evil one. Because Job's mouth was controlled by the Holy Spirit, in all this trial Job did not sin with his lips by blabbering nonsense through his mouth (Job 2:10).
What can we learn from this? We can learn that during our trial, if we are weak in faith and misrepresent God, Satan will then try to torment us with fear, shame and make us run away from God instead of running to the Presence of God in worship like Job did to overcome difficulties that had come as an after effect of the trials he faced. Once in to the trial we should not speak to misrepresent God and thus sin through the words of our lips which will give more rights to the enemy to torment us with more fear and which will make us run away from God.
So I believe that you have been through such a trial in your life and I know what it means to lose your son and that through by suicide.
But I want to tell you one thing by asking you a question, do you know why when God blessed double in everything that Job had before after all his trials, yet we see that when it comes to the restoration of his sons and daughters, he lost 7 sons and 3 daughters (Job 1:2, 18-19), as they were restored by God, he was given only the same amount by God again which was 7 sons and 3 daughters. What happened? Did God forget to remember to bless double in restoration which must have been 6 daughters and 14 sons = 20 children which is the right answer for a double blessing?
So here is the answer, when Job went through the trial, he understood God in an eternal perspective through it (Job 42:1, 2-6). So he was able to see through the veil in to eternity and found that already what he thought as the demise of all his children was wrong, he was able to see in to eternity and found that already 10 who died were actually alive with God in heaven (John 11:25-26). So now according to Job he understood that already the ten who were thought as dead are alive with God, because of this eternal revelation that came to Him through his trial, God gave 10 more children newly and took the count to be 20 which solved the equation of double blessing to be 20 children for him.
I believe the same applies to you, though you have lost you child by suicide, he is with the Lord I believe because you have taught him faith from his childhood (2 Tim 1:5). You need to rejoice that when Christ will come, he will bring your son on that day to give him a glorious body and you will also come along if the day of rapture gets delayed (1 Thess 4:14-18). Now God will give you spiritually a lot of children if you are able to move on by faith again and worship God like never before to prove to all the devils that has afflicted you to run away being ashamed of your recovery of faith in God (Matt 19:28-29; Mark 10:29-30, 31).
See this beautiful promise of God that is just for those who has been through severe trials like you and all of us who have faced such severe troubles, Jesus has already come, "2...To comfort all who mourn, 3 To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified... 7 Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs.” (Isa 61:2-3, 7).
Jesus will comfort you when you let Him comfort your heart through the Holy Spirit, He will console you because you have mourned a lot in the past time, for the sadness of ashes experience Jesus wants to give a supernatural beauty for you now, for the mourning you have done a oil of joy Jesus will rub over you which will make you be filled with peace that passes your understanding and joy inexpressible, start praising the Lord intentionally out of your choice and soon you will see the spirit of heaviness leave you completely, so that you will be again called as tree of righteousness planted by the Lord in restoration so that Jesus might be more glorified through your life now than before. Instead of all your shame that you have gone through, a double honor with a blessed portion of spiritual permanency of blessedness you will rejoice with. Everlasting joy shall be yours, as the double portion of blessing for the trouble that you have gone through in your life will stay as your inheritance forever and ever eternally.
From this you should rejoice (Php 4:4), that if you have not been through the trouble, you could not have got a double portion of blessing from the Lord. But thank God now, you have got double for all the the trouble, stay grateful and thankful for the rest of your life. O GLORY! Praise the Lord!
Please pray a prayer of restoration with me and expect a double blessing from now on in your life, Hallelujah! : "Dear Heavenly Father, In Jesus name I come to you. Thank you making me your child. Thank you for allowing me to go through the trouble to gain the double blessing that you have for me. Now I know that my child is not dead but alive with you, sorry for misrepresenting you by my weak faith through the troubles that came as a test to me. You are sovereign over my life and my family, you have the right to give and take away. Now I bless you name, for you are worthy of all honor, glory and praise! Now I understand that I should not be foolish enough to be accepting good from you and not accept adversity from you, but I am wise now in the wisdom of Christ to know that all things whether good or bad that has happened to me, you have promised to work only for my good and I believe it with all my heart (Rom 8:28; 1 Cor 1:30). I declare that you are always good and only good through all the changing circumstances of life (Psa 145:9; 135:3; 73:1). Now my life and happy self which is hidden in you, I want it to be revealed like I used to experience it before (Col 3:3). I command the spirit of heaviness and depression to leave right now in Jesus name, and I praise you for replacing it with oil of joy and a spirit of praise. Open my lips supernaturally from now on to show forth your praise so that the spirit of heaviness might not dare to come again forever (Psa 51:15). God thank you for restoring me so that I from now on will serve you with all of me for the rest of my days! I love you JESUS and will serve you no matter what, I know that you have healed me by stretching forth your mighty hand and I receive the complete healing in Jesus miraculous name (Mark 11:24)! You are my GOD, JESUS!!!! In Jesus mighty, glorious and wonderful name I pray. Amen!"
GLORY Hallelujah! I declare in JESUS MIGHTY AND WONDERFUL name that you are blessed double for all the trouble. I pray and declare that you are a great blessing to many, and will be a vessel of great comfort for the broken hearted in the days to come.
Much Blessings....
Answer : Greetings to you in Jesus wonderful name!
I understand PTSD is Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which is an anxiety disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as sexual assault, warfare, traffic collisions, terrorism or other threats on a person's life. Symptoms include disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and hyper arousal, continue for more than a month after the occurrence of a traumatic event and in some cases in to years after that.
I understand what you are going through. We have been going through the life of Job for over a month now, if someone must have PTSD for the rest of his life, he must have been the number one in the list. Because of the first great trial that God allowed in his life, in a single day he lost all his property, he lost all his servants and above all he lost all his children [i.e. 7 sons and 3 daughters (Job 1:2)], but after hearing all those sad and horrible news of what had happened to him, he realized that without God's permission it could not happen to him, so Job arose, tore his robes and showed his sadness that nothing else is left in his life and then shaved his head to express the shame he felt in his soul, but he did not stop there but acknowledged God's hand over all this to fall down to the ground and worship Him (Job 1:13-20). God had faith in job that He will overcome the trials that God has allowed because he was a devoted worshiper of God. When Adam and Eve were attacked by Satan, they ran away from God because they did not experience the power of worship at that point of time (Gen 3:1-10). Opposite to this, when Job was attacked by Satan, he ran to the presence of God and worshiped him. He did not misrepresent God by speaking anything worthless against God but instead reaffirmed that God had the rights to test him by taking things away from him because He is the Creator who provided everything (Job 1:21). As a worshiper the Holy Spirit spoke the right words through Job's mouth and kept him quiet, therefore Job proved God and Satan's evil sadistic heart was brought out to light as Job did not sin with his mouth and charge God with wrong (Job 1:22; 2:3). Satan sent four servant messengers to bring fear in to the heart of Job, but because Job was a worshiper he was able to overcome the fear by faith. Overcome sadness and mourning by the whispers of comfort from God working within him. Once we come to accept God's sovereign right to give anything anytime and take anything anytime away from us, we are on the way to supernatural healing from God. Even Jesus told Satan that we should not test God but only trust Him as his children, but he has the rights to test us and we can respond to it only in worship because He is the one who provides (Matt 4:7, 10, 4).
We should understand that Job was God's best man, but still Satan had legal space within him to attack him because of the life of self-righteousness and pride that was present in his life (Job 1:8; 2:3; 9:21; 10:3, 7; 12:4; 27:6; 31:1-40). Like that we might have been God's best friend, but as the sons and daughters of our sinful forefather Adam, Satan might have had something in us for God to allow such great trials to purify our lives and cleanse us to become blessed than before.
Again in Job's second trial, Satan could have killed his wife before itself along with Job's sons as she was in his hand only (Job 1:12), but Satan understood that his wife being the closest thing to Job could be used as the effective instrument against him. When God again gave power to Satan over Job's body except the power to take out his life, he made job's body to become full of painful boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head so that he had to take a pot shred [i.e. a broken piece of an earthenware (Job 2:8; 41:30; Psalms 22:15; Prov 26:23; Isaiah 45:9)] to scratch himself in a soothing way and relieve himself of his pain and suffering. This time Satan himself filled Job's wife and tempted him again to misrepresent God by saying "Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!", but Job overcame her by saying the same thing he first said but in a different way reaffirming that God is good, and argued for God by saying that the person who gives good has the right to allow bad adversity too, we who accept God in good time should also accept Him in bad and sad times too because He is worthy of all our worship as the Creator of us all. In other words God is sovereign over all, and because of that He has the right to do what He wants, where He wants and when He wants, and no one has the right to ask Him why you did it or not do it. Because Job's heart was connected to heaven by faith, he was able to overcome the temptation of the evil one. Because Job's mouth was controlled by the Holy Spirit, in all this trial Job did not sin with his lips by blabbering nonsense through his mouth (Job 2:10).
What can we learn from this? We can learn that during our trial, if we are weak in faith and misrepresent God, Satan will then try to torment us with fear, shame and make us run away from God instead of running to the Presence of God in worship like Job did to overcome difficulties that had come as an after effect of the trials he faced. Once in to the trial we should not speak to misrepresent God and thus sin through the words of our lips which will give more rights to the enemy to torment us with more fear and which will make us run away from God.
So I believe that you have been through such a trial in your life and I know what it means to lose your son and that through by suicide.
But I want to tell you one thing by asking you a question, do you know why when God blessed double in everything that Job had before after all his trials, yet we see that when it comes to the restoration of his sons and daughters, he lost 7 sons and 3 daughters (Job 1:2, 18-19), as they were restored by God, he was given only the same amount by God again which was 7 sons and 3 daughters. What happened? Did God forget to remember to bless double in restoration which must have been 6 daughters and 14 sons = 20 children which is the right answer for a double blessing?
So here is the answer, when Job went through the trial, he understood God in an eternal perspective through it (Job 42:1, 2-6). So he was able to see through the veil in to eternity and found that already what he thought as the demise of all his children was wrong, he was able to see in to eternity and found that already 10 who died were actually alive with God in heaven (John 11:25-26). So now according to Job he understood that already the ten who were thought as dead are alive with God, because of this eternal revelation that came to Him through his trial, God gave 10 more children newly and took the count to be 20 which solved the equation of double blessing to be 20 children for him.
I believe the same applies to you, though you have lost you child by suicide, he is with the Lord I believe because you have taught him faith from his childhood (2 Tim 1:5). You need to rejoice that when Christ will come, he will bring your son on that day to give him a glorious body and you will also come along if the day of rapture gets delayed (1 Thess 4:14-18). Now God will give you spiritually a lot of children if you are able to move on by faith again and worship God like never before to prove to all the devils that has afflicted you to run away being ashamed of your recovery of faith in God (Matt 19:28-29; Mark 10:29-30, 31).
See this beautiful promise of God that is just for those who has been through severe trials like you and all of us who have faced such severe troubles, Jesus has already come, "2...To comfort all who mourn, 3 To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified... 7 Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs.” (Isa 61:2-3, 7).
Jesus will comfort you when you let Him comfort your heart through the Holy Spirit, He will console you because you have mourned a lot in the past time, for the sadness of ashes experience Jesus wants to give a supernatural beauty for you now, for the mourning you have done a oil of joy Jesus will rub over you which will make you be filled with peace that passes your understanding and joy inexpressible, start praising the Lord intentionally out of your choice and soon you will see the spirit of heaviness leave you completely, so that you will be again called as tree of righteousness planted by the Lord in restoration so that Jesus might be more glorified through your life now than before. Instead of all your shame that you have gone through, a double honor with a blessed portion of spiritual permanency of blessedness you will rejoice with. Everlasting joy shall be yours, as the double portion of blessing for the trouble that you have gone through in your life will stay as your inheritance forever and ever eternally.
From this you should rejoice (Php 4:4), that if you have not been through the trouble, you could not have got a double portion of blessing from the Lord. But thank God now, you have got double for all the the trouble, stay grateful and thankful for the rest of your life. O GLORY! Praise the Lord!
Please pray a prayer of restoration with me and expect a double blessing from now on in your life, Hallelujah! : "Dear Heavenly Father, In Jesus name I come to you. Thank you making me your child. Thank you for allowing me to go through the trouble to gain the double blessing that you have for me. Now I know that my child is not dead but alive with you, sorry for misrepresenting you by my weak faith through the troubles that came as a test to me. You are sovereign over my life and my family, you have the right to give and take away. Now I bless you name, for you are worthy of all honor, glory and praise! Now I understand that I should not be foolish enough to be accepting good from you and not accept adversity from you, but I am wise now in the wisdom of Christ to know that all things whether good or bad that has happened to me, you have promised to work only for my good and I believe it with all my heart (Rom 8:28; 1 Cor 1:30). I declare that you are always good and only good through all the changing circumstances of life (Psa 145:9; 135:3; 73:1). Now my life and happy self which is hidden in you, I want it to be revealed like I used to experience it before (Col 3:3). I command the spirit of heaviness and depression to leave right now in Jesus name, and I praise you for replacing it with oil of joy and a spirit of praise. Open my lips supernaturally from now on to show forth your praise so that the spirit of heaviness might not dare to come again forever (Psa 51:15). God thank you for restoring me so that I from now on will serve you with all of me for the rest of my days! I love you JESUS and will serve you no matter what, I know that you have healed me by stretching forth your mighty hand and I receive the complete healing in Jesus miraculous name (Mark 11:24)! You are my GOD, JESUS!!!! In Jesus mighty, glorious and wonderful name I pray. Amen!"
GLORY Hallelujah! I declare in JESUS MIGHTY AND WONDERFUL name that you are blessed double for all the trouble. I pray and declare that you are a great blessing to many, and will be a vessel of great comfort for the broken hearted in the days to come.
Much Blessings....
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